I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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