Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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