What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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