Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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