he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
