I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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