it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
