I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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