I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
