Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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