Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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