My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well you can't waste a boner
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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