Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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