I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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