The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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