Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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