i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
