i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
