I didn't shave. On purpose
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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