did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
MIDGETS
????
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
