Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
