david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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