My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize