Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
