i permit you to call me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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