What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
