so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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