I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
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I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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