I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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