My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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