I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car