The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that