Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.