I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.