I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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