Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
