butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
