oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
