I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
