just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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