please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize