I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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