I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize