the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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