she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
