You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
