just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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