What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
