If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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