btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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