I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
