Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
