did you get engaged???
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Your cock deserves a montage
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
