Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
