guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize