I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
