That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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