I need help removing her.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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