That's intense
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
