My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
