I wannas sexs uuuuu
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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