So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Terrible idea I love it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
