The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Welp...herpes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
